Busted.

Today is one of those days that is not going exactly as planned. Since we're headed out on a 5-day Ferien tomorrow, there are many things on the to-do list. First, I was up half the night with a hacking cough, decided to take Sudafed this morning, and so I am in a bit of a daze. Jillson didn't want to get out of bed this morning, so we were late getting to preschool and I forgot to pack her snack. Zipped on over to the Edeka to get a pretzel and snuck it back to her classroom so she wouldn't be ohne etwas zum Brotzeit. (This would've been tragic in both Jillsie's eyes and in the teacher's eyes.)

My crowning achievement for the day--so far!--was getting pulled over by the German police for speeding. I was going about 55mph in a 45mph zone, and the fee was only 30 Euro, so all-in-all it seemed fair. The Polizei said nothing about my loud music or the fact that I was applying make-up while driving. But, because I didn't have the cash on me (you can pay the cop directly here and get it over with), I had to sit in the car and wait for about 15 minutes while the Polizei prepared all the paperwork and Stempel. Naturally, this gave me plenty of time to get frustrated, and I started to cry.

The crying is a phenomenon whenever I get pulled over. Sometimes it works to my advantage and sometimes not. Either way, I can't control it, and the Gutsy Dad hates it. (Luckily, my only observer was Madelyn and she is too young to be embarrassed by a weepy mother.) The policeman was alarmed/amused by the tears. He kept saying "it is not that terrible" and that I would be "permitted to drive on," but I didn't know the German word for embarrassed, and I wasn't about to explain that I was crying because I was mad I got caught (at first) and then I was just crying because I was crying (after the first minute of being mad) and I couldn't stop.

Thereafter, my errand-running went relatively smoothly: picked up meds for me and Jills at the pharmacy, dropped off the plastic recycling, mailed some things at the post office, gassed up the car, and went to the grocery store. All without incident. I got home with just enough time to unload the car and nurse Madelyn before it would be time to go get Jills, when I noticed my boobs had totally leaked through my grey t-shirt (unmistakeable dark, wet circles). No matter. I only ran into about six people I know while running errands. All of whom were showered and coiffed.

Then I discovered that while I was out, the dogs (presumably Zephie), had busted through our elaborate chair barrier system to get to the spot in the kitchen where Zephie likes to pee. She peed indeed, and also chewed up a gallon-sized ziploc full of toasted french bread slices, four or five kitchen appliance manuals, and the top to my bamboo steamer. Oddly, my recipe stand (normally on a shelf) had been moved to the center of the kitchen.

So now, my fun naptime to do list includes not just paying bills and making amends to my father for having bounced a check (more embarrassing at my age than getting a speeding ticket) but also steam cleaning the freakin' kitchen carpet.

I guess I'll pack after dinner.

Edited to add: No sooner had I pressed "publish" on this post than I hear from upstairs "MOMMY! YUCKY! YUCKY! HELP!" This sort of plea never bodes well. So I checked in on Jillsie to find her standing in her crib bare-bottomed, an empty & clean diaper on the floor, and a tidy pile of poop in her crib. Seriously. You can't make this stuff up. My daughter says "I didn't want to poop in my dipey, Mom." Evidently not. I think this might be my punishment for blogging during naptime instead getting back to my chores. So, in my defense, I'd like to say that I have now eaten my lunch, emailed my father, nursed Maddie again, and paid the bills. As soon as I press "publish" again, I will go steam clean the darn pee place in my kitchen. I promise.