Friday, November 23, 2007

September's Music of the Month, Long Overdue

I have been meaning to write about music every month, and I just keep forgetting, and now that I have no fewer than nine reasons to get with the program, I figure I better start typing.

As I've mentioned six thousand times before, I really don't think I could get by in a world without music. So often I rely on it to get me through, by either allowing myself to wallow in it and feel "it's not just me" or by getting myself jumpstarted by it after my batteries die out. Have you ever heard a song for the first time that was so PERFECT for the moment in which you hear it that you wonder how you survived your whole life without it and, simultaneously, how the song happened to come along at the precise moment you needed it? In the last few months I have received so many gifts of music--at just the right time and often by pure chance--that I feel there must be a music god looking out for me.

Back in August, right after the Gutsy Dad left on his RLBT, I was sad to realize a neighbor friend was moving away. Not to the ends of the earth, but far enough away that we don't bump into each other any more the way the rest of us Gutsy Neighbors always do. What made this more sad for me was that she was a new friend and one I just loved chatting away the day with. Talks with her are always satisfying in a "if we can talk and agree about things, or at least understand each other about things, then the world is bound to be okay someday" kind of way. Don't you love a friend like that? Anyway, because she was a new friend, I was surprised, when, as I headed out for a run that day shortly before she moved, she stopped me to give me a gift. A CD mix! (My love of mixes in general will have to be a topic for another day.) This new friend had given me a mix, and so my heart was touched before I even heard the first track.

I wish I had a picture of the CD cover she made to show you right now, but because I am traveling I cannot snap a picture of it. Instead, I'll tell you the story of the first track on this CD. The run I went on that morning was a good, therapeutic run. I was out there with my running buddies and, because their husbands are on the same RLBT, and this was still such a fresh change for us, we all needed the run very badly. It was a gorgeous Bavarian morning, and being physical felt good, and the sun felt good, and the sweat felt good, and the babies were happy in their strollers, the dogs were happy bounding through the fields. Coming home, alone, on a bit of a runner's high, I felt wonderful and awful all at once. This occurs whenever good things happen with the Gutsy Dad away. I feel wonderful and then, five seconds later, I feel awful because I so miss sharing the wonderful moments with him. And then I remembered the mix from my new friend.

I put it in, and beautiful music filled my home immediately. I looked out over the fields through my back french doors and saw dark rain clouds. Within a matter of seconds the skies turned gray, and a downpour began. I felt immediate satisfaction that we had finished our run just in time. On top of that, I felt the deep sense of satisfaction that comes from listening to beautiful music. All this happened in a few seconds: the turning on of the CD, the weather changing, the rush of emotions--both the wonderful and the awful. All during the opening bars of the first track of this CD. And then the lyrics started, and I kid you not, this is what I heard:

When the rain comes it seems that everyone has gone away.
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't find some place
To run and hide, escape the pain.
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do.

I can't stop the rain from falling down on you again.
I can't stop the rain, but I will hold you 'til it goes away.

When the rain comes you blame it on the things that you have done.
When the storm fades you know that rain must fall on everyone.
So rest awhile, it'll be alright.
No one loves you like I do.

I can't stop the rain from falling down on you again.
I can't stop the rain, but I will hold you 'til it goes away.

When the rain comes, I will hold you.

I was floored. I sat right down and had one of the best cries of my life. I felt everything going on in the song. I even felt I was being the Gutsy Dad from afar, by my friend, by God, by the song itself. It's really a brilliant song because it is so simple, yet it works on myriad levels. In fact, come to think of it, I now I sing this song to Jillsie as a lullaby sometimes. (If you want to listen to the song, search for "When the Rain Comes" by Third Day.)

So, officially, the September Music of the Month was and is RV's Cheesy Mix. The entire CD is filled with gems of songs; many of which I hadn't heard before. I love RV for sharing all of this with me, and for being my friend during a time in which I am, admittedly, not always myself.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

What a beautiful story! You made me cry...

I really needed to "hear" the words to that song today so the delayed post actually had perfect timing. I love you and I am forever thankful that you are my friend.

Hope you and Jillson had a lovely Thanksgiving with your family!